Rewind

Honestly, I wish I could experience Uni all over again. Even though my years weren’t that eventful and there were many times of stress amongst them, I feel like they went by flying. I mean I’m halfway through senior year now, about to go to college and I can pretty much say that I’ve spent 5 years of my life at Uni, which is absolutely crazy when I think about it. When I think back to subbie year, it’s actually crazy how little work there was, how stress free the year was. When I think back to freshman year, I think about my first year of track and how far I’ve progressed until now. When I think of sophomore year I think of Mr. Butler’s flowcharts. When I think of junior year I think about physics and standardized testing. 

Now that I’m in senior year, I’ve been thinking non stop about college and my future, but surprisingly I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about everything I’ve done and accomplished in my life so far. When I think about the past, I get sad and scared because I remember all these great memories I shared with people that I might never see again or be as close to anymore. Even though it’s pretty silly and it’s obvious that the future will hold even more great moments in my life, I can’t help but feel scared that maybe they those great memories won’t happen in my future. 

I guess it’s even more general than Uni then. I wish I could go back and be free of responsibilities and stress again. Even though I might not necessarily have any responsibilities right now, I feel like I should, I feel like I will, and that causes me even more stress and anxiety. It was nice when my parents would take care of everything for me, when I could make mistakes and I wouldn’t have to own up to my consequences, but that world is slowly fading away. Even though my parents might always support me, I need to start being independent whether I like it or not, which is also crazy to think. I used to always think that I wanted to live on my own and move as far away from everyone as possible, but that seems like such a sad and stressful life now. 

    Regardless of what the future holds for me, I just hope that it can only be even better than what I’ve already experienced. I have no doubts about that as long as I can make some good friends in college. Maybe it’s a good thing for me though, as I’ve stayed in a very small friend group for 5 years, it’s about time I branch out and discover some new personalities. Even though I’m anxious of what is ahead of me, I’m also excited and curious for what’s to come, so I’ll just have to wait and see.